The Book of Inappropriate and Perverted Content
by the-stretch-beyond-spandex
Summary: Tommy mourns the loss of fictional animated objects and Billy's perverted secret comes out of the draw.


**The Book of Inappropriate and Perverted Content**

**Disclaimer:** **I don't own Young Avengers.**

**This is like a last minute story that I thought of. Kinda rushed, but enjoy.**

**Thanks to Sweet Sour Insanity for the title and summary.  
**

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"...Wait- Are you _crying_?"

"...No."

"It was rated _G_ for god sake."

"It was still sad"

"It was _Toy_ _Story_ _3 _Tommy."

"Yeah," Tommy wiped a tear from his face on his sleeve and sniffled, making him look weak and vulnerable. "So?"

"You didn't even _have_ to watch it. You could've gone in the other room and watched Clash of the Titans with Teddy, Eli and I you know. You only watched it cause Kate was, weren't you?"

"No...I just didn't want to put up with _another_ 2 hours of you and your boyfriend making out. remember when we went to see that movie last week and Eli looked like he was going to be sick? It's bad enough when we're at HQ, and kiss every moment possible but enough. is. enough."

"Whatever. Why are even in my room in the first place?"

Billy crossed his arms as he watched his brother sit on his desk, grab a highlighter and draw a huge fluro pink line across his work.

"Stop going through _my_ stuff!"

"Oh your ruler is bendy-"

"Tommy-"

The ruler snapped in half and a piece flew across the room hit Billy in the face. Billy glared at him.

"And now it's not. Oops."

"Can you like not touch ANYTHING for ONE god damn second."

Tommy started going through draws at super-speed, fast enough so that Billy couldn't yell at him. Tommy paused for a second, holding a black leather book. "...You, have a diary?"

"Tommy!... mum made me." he mumbled.

"Why?"

"Cause I was so anti-social, she made me write in the book cause I wouldn't talk to her about anything."

"How is this a diary? It's full of pictures of The Avengers...is that?...Billy, why is there a picture of Spiderman in the shower. How the hell did you even get that!"

"..."

"Billy, this is creeping me out. And I don't get creeped out that easily. But my brother having pictures of The Avengers half-naked and doing things that most of us wouldn't know they did? Like..."

Tommy flipped a page and he tried to keep a straight face at the images lain before him.

"Ms Marvel buying hair coloring ...," Tommy froze at the next page as he flipped it. "Tony wearing nothing but boxers and a pinky in his mouth, or Hawkeye trying on skimpy dresses...wow that is weird-"

Flip.

"or even Captain America wearing sky blue pj's with pink sheep...is just downright _creepy_."

"..."

"Billy."

"..."

"Okay, we're never going to speak of this again."

"Fine with me."

"Good."

Tommy turned another page and sighed when it wasn't one of an Avenger in the shower. Instead, it was a list. And he hoped it wasn't the hottest Avengers or something. Or even 'sexiest guys in spandex.'

"Oh look, Billy Kaplan's plan to become a superhero: Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly. Wow, you got that sorted out at a young age. You didn't plan to fall in love with an alien? or find your 'long lost brother?"

"That was a bonus. And I have to say Tommy-"

"Wait. No brotherly speeches okay? I don't do that. So I'm going to get it over and done with. Right, I'm glad your my brother, and I'd take the bullet for you...not in the head...but like in the leg or something...wait then I couldn't run...okay in the arm. I'd take a bullet for you in in the arm."

"That's one of the worst speeches ever. Wait till I tell the others-"

"I wouldn't do that."

"Why?"

"Unless you plan on the other knowing that your a closeted Avengers _pervert_."

"You _wouldn't_-"

"Watch me."

"Okay, I'm sorry!"

"Good. Wait are they Avenger's figurines? I just watched Toy Story!I'm not going to look at them the same again. Wow Tony's head is huge, which really doesn't surprise me... so, you sleep with Tony Stark in your bedroom? Whatever turns you on I suppose-"

Tommy flicked the toy across the room.

"-can you even _get_ Iron Man figurines? Who would even buy them in the first place?

**"**They're just _toys_ Tommy."

**"**That's what Woody said to Buzz! And look where _that_ got him!"

"I'll throw it out if it pisses you off _that_ much."

"...Maybe we should wrap it up and give it to Cassie as a Christmas present?"

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**Hope you like it. Please review.**


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